How To Be A Badass


I have been a Grey’s Anatomy fan since its third year. A former co-worker (my boss at the time) got me hooked on the show (Thanks, Tammy!) and I’ve been impossibly addicted to the show ever since. There have been nights I’ve had to miss an episode or two, but overall, I’ve been a die-hard fan.

Grey’s led me to Shonda Rhimes.

I am a fan of Shonda. Many shake their heads at her and say she is egotistical. Many say she is too loud-mouthed and opinionated.

I say she’s brave. I’d like to have 1/18th of her talent and bravery, and remake my life like she made hers. I’m not sure if that’ll ever happen, but I want to share just a bit of what makes Shonda great, in my humble opinion.

We all spend our lives kicking the crap out of ourselves for not being this way or that way, not having this thing or that thing, not being like this person or that person. For not living up to some standard we think applies across the board to all of us. We all spend our lives trying to follow the same path, live by the same rules. I think we believe that happiness lies in following the same list of rules. In being more like everyone else. That? Is wrong. There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.”

From her acceptance speech for the Elle Luminary Award, advice on how to begin to be a badass.

There are women out there struggling alone. Who do not have other women on their set,  may be the only person of color in their company. Who may be older than you are used to or younger or browner or less abled. Women who you have forgotten to include in your conversations and your world. Be a person who pulls other women, new women, different women into your circle. Widen your circle to hold more people. Lose your judgements of who someone is based on what you’ve heard or what you assume.

Make some friends, find some new sisters.

Come together. Work together. Brag together. Be powerful together. And whenever you can, lift one another up. Because lifting someone else is what lifts you.”

And these words make me want to have that kind of confidence. Her kind of confidence.

Badassery, I’m discovering, is a new level of confidence—in both yourself and those around you.

And finally,

Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here. And don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.”

Can I be Shonda when I grow up?


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